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Post by Danny Welsh on Aug 26, 2012 18:48:26 GMT -5
"Fuck," Danny shouted when the call with Hudson finally dropped. "Fucking shit fuck!" Without hesitation, Danny dialed Esme, muttering for her to pick up under his breath. Blaine was at his side, holding his hand as tears pored down Danny's face. "Esme, please, get to Hudson as fast as you can. He's in serious danger. I'll meet you there. Please.. please just go quickly," he practically screamed into the phone, so full of fear and sadness.
Hudson was his best friend.. he couldn't just sit around and let him die. "Blaine, stay with Mackenzie. I have to go see Hudson.. I have to.."
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Post by Esme Russel on Aug 26, 2012 19:03:51 GMT -5
Hudson's in danger?
What kind of danger? Esme was, of course, worried because Danny sounded absolutely panicked but a tiny part of her was wondering if he would even want her to help him. She forced the thought out of her head and got into her car to drive back to the apartment.
She couldn't honestly swear that she had driven the exact speed limit... Okay so she was driving dangerously fast and running speed lights but it was an emergency! She couldn't just wait and risk her husband dying because she wanted to follow the rules of the road. Besides, what was the point in having a badass fast car if you never ever go fast?
Kind of like what's the point in being a wife if you aren't there for your husband when he needs you.
She didn't know what happened but the thoughts in her head were scary enough: Oh god, he's dead. He fell in the shower and he couldn't get up and he died... No, he was murdered! Someone broke in and stabbed him... Or he accidentally set a fire in the apartment and I'm going to find his ashes somewhere in the kitchen clinging to a picture of us and his wedding ring.
She was so incredibly scared that she actually ran up the flights of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator up to their floor. What if he was already dead? She walked into the apartment with a pit in her stomach, blood.... She didn't want to cry but the tears came before she could possibly stop them.
What was the appropriate way to handle this? She was sobbing hysterically and yelling for Danny and help while trying to think of a plan.
Hospital.
They needed to get to one... Where was the hospital? Shit! She gave birth at that hospital! Why couldn't she remember where it was? "Hudson.. Baby, oh baby... Please don't die on me.... Please... You can't leave me like this... I'm not ready." She couldn't lift him up! She was weak!
Damn diet!
"Baby, you need to... you need to stand up somehow because we need to get you to a hospital so you don't leave me." She couldn't imagine being widowed in her twenties. "Please... I love you...." She was so scared that she didn't even really know what she was saying.
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Aug 26, 2012 19:56:32 GMT -5
Hudson fumbled around on the bed, rolling over onto his stomach as he smeared blood up his bare chest. "Whoa.." he sort of grunted when he caught sight of his wrists. "Es, I need a bandaid," he said shakily, almost sort of laughing as his eyes went in different directions then rolled back into his head as he passed out.
The bleeding didn't stop. It was everywhere. If he were some how awake and sober, he'd be very upset about how messy their expensive quilt was getting. That was going to take a lot of bleach. But he wasn't here.. he was barely even alive right now.
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Post by Esme Russel on Aug 26, 2012 20:08:00 GMT -5
A bandaid?
Esme was never good with the sight of blood, she could barely handle Cici's bleeding and she was her daughter! Yet, she wasn't vomiting at the sight of Hudson's as if adrenaline had taken over. She didn't care about the blood on her dress or around the room because she knew that she had to get Hudson to a hospital! She heard Blaine race into the room (too lazy to switch to his account, sue me) and he helped well he did most of the work... He lifted Hudson up and carried him a bit nervously to Esme's car.
"This is going to ruin the plush seats, babe." He knew the warning was inappropriate but he felt like he had to say it. "You be careful, don't speed even if you want to.... I can't lose you." He pecked her gently on the forehead before heading back to the building to take care of his poor husband. (Now would be a good time for Daine and the hospital, I think. What do you think? XD)
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 4, 2012 20:11:14 GMT -5
It'd been two weeks since Hudson's suicide attempt and Esme was still struggling with guilt like there was something that she could have said or done to stop it from happening and it was literally eating her up inside to have to keep it all in her head. How selfish would it be to tell him what she was thinking? 'Oh I know that you were the one who tried to kill yourself so clearly you're depressed but hey it hurt me, too' would just sound selfish; no matter how she said it because it would always be the same basic thing. He needed to be treated like a king and telling him her deepest emotional pain was not treating him like a king.
She was in an over sized sweater and her hair was freshly washed so it smelled like a mixture of her honey shampoo and vanilla conditioner. She looked so at piece as she sat down on the couch with a plush blanket over her lap and a copy of her favorite book in her hands. She'd had the most amazing bath/shower and fixed herself a mug of hot tea so she could just enjoy her quiet night. Hudson was in their bedroom but she wasn't entirely sure what he was doing... It was oddly quiet in there at the moment so she reluctantly got to her feet and made her way to their room with her mug in one hand and her book in the other. "Hey baby..." She murmured as a warning that she was coming into the room before she actually came into the room.
She immediately slipped under their covers since it was chilly in their apartment well and she spent too much on that comforter to not use it whenever she had the opportunity to. "I'm lonely so I figured I could hang out in here with you if you don't mind." She didn't want to impose on his alone time but she felt like she had a right to be there if she wanted to since it was her bedroom too and all.
Besides, didn't he need some supervision? Not that he was a child but he had tried to kill himself just two weeks ago and that really wasn't very long at all. She wasn't really reading her book much, she was just watching him out of the corner of her eye to see if he was going to do the good husband thing and come over to her and be all snuggely and sweet like she wanted or if she was really going to end up just reading her book.
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Sept 4, 2012 21:22:34 GMT -5
Hudson stood by the window of the bedroom staring down at the street below. They were on a high floor, and the people were only moving dots of color to him. He was lucky.. so lucky. Most people, when they try to kill themselves and all, end up in a psych ward for at least a month. AT LEAST. He was so lucky to have such a wonderful wife. If it weren't for her, he'd probably be sitting in a white room discussing his feelings.
When Esme entered the room, Hudson turned and smiled at her gently before turning back to the window. His depression was much better than it had been, but its a different kind of sadness when you survive your own death. One would think they'd be pretty happy if they didn't die. And he was. But half of him was asking why he hadn't cut just a little deeper, drank just a little more. Though every time that thought crossed his brain, Hudson pinched himself which made it go away.
Hearing the blankets on the bed rustling, Hudson turned from the window (his whole body this time) and just watched Esme. She was so beautiful.. and he was so damn lucky. He didn't look like much today.. at all. He hadn't really been trying the past few weeks. His usual Hudson attire hadn't even been touched. No suits, no ties, no nice pants, not even matching socks. Today, in fact, he was wearing one white tube sock (which he'd scrunched down to his ankle) and one black ankle sock. Why? Who knew. The rest of his outfit was a pair of black basketball shorts and.. well, that was it. He hadn't even combed his hair this morning (which was getting long, almost about two inches now).
After a few good minutes of watching her read, Hudson slowly walked to the bed and crawled across the top sheets. He smiled at her gently and took the book from her hands, placing it down at the foot of the bed. He then lay his head down on her lap as he looked up at her, just smiling.
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 4, 2012 21:34:36 GMT -5
Esme often wondered what Hudson thought about when he did this; just sat there and looked out the window like that. Was he thinking about how glad that he was that he hadn't died or how he wished that he hadn't survived? She was about to ask him how he was when he crept over and took her book.
She didn't mind.
"Hudson... You need a hair cut, baby." She mused affectionately as she ran her fingers through his hair, "You look nice though even if you do need a haircut..." She was looking down at him and she felt her eyes fill with hot tears. She had been so close to losing him and she wasn't even allowed to cry in front of him. "Hudson...." She whimpered and let out a sudden choking sob. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She was sobbing so hard that she couldn't breath anymore.
She had been so careful not to cry in front of him during these past two weeks and now it was like a river of tears falling down her cheeks. "I love you... I love you so much but I don't know what to do...." She was caressing the side of his face and running her fingers through his hair. "Please don't do it again." She was trying to be composed and not make him sad because of his depression but this was clearly breaking her heart.
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Sept 4, 2012 22:26:21 GMT -5
"Oh, baby.." he sat up, a slight frown on his face as he reached his arms around her. "Shhh, shh, Es. Its okay, baby. Look, I'm here," he said as he pressed her sobbing face against his chest. "I promise, Esme. I promise," he whispered, "I'll never do it again. I promise."
They sat for a while, her head in his arms, her arms around his back, as the two of them cried. Hudson repeatedly whispered a gentle "shh its alright" in her ear, rocking her gently back and forth. It was about ten minutes before he lifted her face up to his. "Esme. I love you. I promise, I'll never do it again," he said as a tear rolled down his cheek just before he kissed her. "I promise," he said again, eyes closed, his forehead against hers.
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 4, 2012 22:36:55 GMT -5
Esme was so incredibly grateful that Hudson was being so damn sympathetic. She held onto his body as tightly as she could without hurting him. "Sweetheart..... I just.... I can't lose you not like that." She whispered in a hoarse tone as she slowly brought his face to her's so she could kiss him just once. What was the harm in one innocent kiss?
She didn't mean to deepen the kiss like she did but it definitely happened and she let out a soft moan before going back to the kissing. She was feeling all hot and bothered and it was oh so very obvious. "I want you.... I want all of you."
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Sept 4, 2012 22:44:07 GMT -5
Hudson giggled lightly when she said she wanted him. "I owe you," he said quietly as he kissed her then pushed her back down to the bed. "What do you want?" he asked, his tongue between his teeth as he watched her. She was so beautiful..
Thoughts of the Jeep were coming back to him. Their first time, so many years ago in the back of his sky blue Jeep at a, where was it? Olive Garden? He smiled at the thought then pushed himself under the blankets and placed his hand on her stomach (under her shirt). "Name it," he said.
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 4, 2012 23:02:37 GMT -5
Lust.
Esme could only describe what she was currently feeling as intense lust for her husband's touch; his hands on her stomach sent shivers down her spine. She let out a needy moan out of frustration when he asked what she wanted. How could she say this without sounding bad? "I just want you.... I want to go as far as you want to." She nodded even though she knew that she wanted to go all the way.
Was it her fault that he was just so good in bed that she wanted him always? And it had been over six months now since they'd last made love… She let out a soft moan and wrapped her legs around his waist, "I need you to make love to me right now." Need felt like the best word to use to say it. She was looking up at him with wide hopeful eyes, what was she going to do if he rejected her? Didn't he realize how painful that female blue balls were? Or how much that she just wanted to grab him and take him right then and there on the bed?
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Sept 8, 2012 13:46:39 GMT -5
Hudson put his arms around Esme's lower back as she wrapped her legs around him. "We can do that," he said quietly before kissing her. Playfully, Hudson threw Esme off of him so he could get his shorts down. It was luck that he was already shirtless.
This was something new about Hudson. Life could be horrible and dreary and nasty, and then all the sudden it could be the most beautiful thing. Its like he was suddenly bipolar. Can that happen? Can someone just suddenly become bipolar? Hudson sure felt like it.
But right now, he didn't care. It had been a long while since he'd made love to his wife.. and she deserved it. After almost losing him, she deserved MORE than this. She deserved a lifetime of pure happiness. And he was going to fight to give it to her.
"C'mere babe," he cooed, arms out for her to re-mount.
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 8, 2012 13:57:27 GMT -5
This was new, this was very very new. Was it usually this easy to get Hudson to have sex with her? She'd been trying for six months so clearly it wasn't that easy.
Esme wasn't fighting it though even if a tiny part of her did wonder if he was going to turn around and accuse her of raping him or something else crazy along those lines. She bit down on her bottom lip as she slowly got back on him; it was like riding a bike, right? Except not at all like riding a bike.
*Skip but the sex was awesome because she's hot and he's hot and you know just awesome hot sex, picture the hottest awesome-st sex*
She was panting when she finally pulled herself off of him and that was when she realized that he hadn't worn a condom, how did she not notice that before? She didn't think much of it because she was pretty sure that there was no chance that she was ever going to get pregnant. "You know I love you, right?" She was going somewhere serious with this, so serious that she didn't know how to phrase it.
She got what she wanted, she was laying naked curled up at her husband's side but her mind was racing in a thousand different directions. He deserved someone better, didn't he? Someone who wouldn't force him into things, like sex, that he didn't want. She was always going to feel guilty over Cici and ruining his life if she didn't say what she needed to say.
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Post by Hudson Phelps on Sept 8, 2012 15:02:56 GMT -5
"Of course I know you love me, Es," Hudson said, almost sort of giggling a little bit. "And I love you too. Why would you question that?" But right after he asked, he knew exactly why she might question it. He'd only just tried to kill himself and he was sure as hell positive about the fact that she probably thought he'd tried to kill himself because of her. And that wasn't the truth! Only.. only half of the truth.
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Post by Esme Russel on Sept 8, 2012 15:22:14 GMT -5
Esme knew what she wanted to say but she didn't know how to say it without offending him. "Hudson.... Jonathan and I had Cici when we were really young and I thought that the best choice was to try and force you to be a father to her, too because I believed it would make you love her like your own and you've been fabulous with her but... but it's not fair." She took one of his hands and sat up with a sheet covering her naked body.
"I needed to realize that you gave up a lot of your fun years to be a father to my mistake and that's not right. You're not her biological father and I feel like we need some space where you can live your life and party and have sex if you need to and we can work on our marriage." She nodded and moved her face away from him so he wouldn't see that she was crying.
"I love you but I need to let you go for your own good."
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