Jax's Studio

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah wrinkled her nose in that cute way she always did when she smiled. She blushed a little at the matching underwear comment, and shook her head. "You're just lucky, I felt like being coordinated today." She joked, then her eyes traveled towards his hands as they moved. She bit her lower lip at his suggestion and had to pause for a moment. Sure, Naveah wasn't so naive as to not know what to expect, but this was taking her a little bit of time. She was so unused to doing this - to feeling this way about someone, to being so intimate with someone... She knew his request wasn't weird, and yet she still didn't know what to say, or what to do. This was supposed to be sexy, and she was utterly failing.

When he took her hands and put them where at the waistband of his boxers, she tensed, then looked up at him hesitantly. Deciding to go for it, she moved closer, so that her knees were touching his. For a moment, she froze, unsure of herself, before her fingers slipped down to get a grip on the elastic of his boxers. Feeling as though it would be extremely awkward to just do this in silence, she looked up and leaned forward, connecting her lips with his. Her hands moved below them, successfully removing Jaxon of his last piece of clothing. She let the fabric just drop to his knees, and broke the kiss for a moment to breathe. Then she leaned in again, hands on his thighs. She moved farther into the kiss, more demanding of him now, her fingers pressing into his skin a little more roughly.

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon would've sighed of relief when the boxers slipped down if his face weren't attached to Naveah's. He went to speak, not really sure of what he was going to say, but was thankfully stopped when Naevah's kiss strengthened. Letting out a slight moan as she kissed him harder, Jaxon's hands moved to her waist and pulled down those matching panties. "I love you, Naveah," he managed to get out as she took a breath.

As the kissing continued, Jaxon put his arms under her legs and pulled her up onto him, making sure the panties stayed behind on the bed. Slowly, he guided her legs around his back, not breaking the kiss. He sat back, falling from a kneeling position into a sort of indian-style. This was all bringing back so many memories.. that last time they'd kissed like this, they'd been wearing clothing, yes, but she'd straddled him nonetheless.

Taking a break for a moment, letting her breath, Jaxon reached aimlessly behind his back for that condom he'd half opened. Within seconds he'd removed it and put it on, his hands already back around Naveah's lower back, his lips already pressed back against her's. Not really sure where to start, Jaxon let his hands travel low. Let's just be honest here, he'd never in his life seen any lady parts. Never. Even in health class, he'd turned away because the human body always made him squeamish. But somehow, not actually looking and just sort of.. letting his hands find their way around made things a little less gross to him.

"Are you ready?" he asked, breaking the kiss for just a moment, his eyes traveling her body but ending up locked onto her face.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

When he said he loved her... she smiled. Her grin was ear to ear, and she was about to reply, when he moved. She barely even noticed that she was naked until she noticed that he was and suddenly, it was all very real. They were doing this, on their first official date, and he loved her. Straddling him, her thoughts quickly strayed to think of that night, so many years ago... Sitting on the floor, ash on her hands and smudged on her face. When he pulled her in for that kiss, and she returned it all the same. When she didn't even hesitate to put herself in his lap, if it meant kissing him more. That bright feeling, that warmness that she always felt when she was around him. The way he made her feel giddy and excited, as they kissed under the lights of his dorm room. And now? They were kissing again, and he gave her the same feelings, if not more amplified. On a bed, her legs wrapped around his waist and his hands on her lower back, under the same kind of lights as before. It couldn't be more perfect, could it?

When his hands moved to - well, elsewhere, she gasped. Her mouth fell open against his needy lips, and she didn't miss a beat. Moving her tongue in expertly, exploring the mouth she'd known for years, she squirmed at the feeling of his traveling fingers. This was all so new and priceless, an experience she had never thought she would ever have! When she finally couldn't breathe, she pulled away. Panting, she leaned forward and kissed his lips quickly, her mouth moving from his jaw to his neck to his collarbone. "Yes, I'm ready!" She paused for a moment, her forehead resting softly against his chest as she soaked it all in, committing every second to memory. Then she looked up at him, and grinned mischievously. "Are you ready for all that is the amazing Naveah?" She kissed him again.

*uh, skip to cute Jaxeah post-sex cuddling?*

[Jax Porter]

(there's so much more i could say.. but i won't haha)

Jaxon sighed heavily as he pulled Naveah in closer, her back against his chest. "I hope you're not in too much pain," he said with a slight chuckled as he reached his hand over her body and instinctively put it over her chest. "Because that was.. better than I thought it would be," he added as he nuzzled his nose against the back of her head.

The comforter had been pushed off about an hour ago and all that remained now was a thin white sheet which was laying daintily over their naked bodies. This was it. Jaxon was sure that he was in love with Naveah. But that's when Heather broke into his mind. That's when that blonde haired, blue eyed bimbo came crawling back into his head; images of her at the bar, images of her falling out the window. Jaxon winced at the flashbacks, shutting his eyes as his face twitched and he accidentally pulled away from Naveah.

"I'm sorry, sorry," he said quietly as he moved back closer to her. The images hadn't gone away yet, but he was trying so hard not to think about them.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah sighed with comfort, her cheek snuggled against the bed, the pillow left somewhere, neglected. The pain level was rather high at first, she had been expecting that, but after a while it was a bit easier. A little... numbing, and weird feeling, as if it were wrong, but also pleasurable and fun, making it feel exactly right. She didn't know why she liked it, or if she liked it, but she didn't dislike it. It was just strange; a perfect mix of odd and deliciously delightful. "Pain?" She murmured, eyes almost closed as she thought about it. "I'm fine." It was kind of a lie - she was a bit sore, after all - but she didn't feel like it was that big of a deal.

Naveah was just settling in, getting comfortable for a night of cuddling or kissing, when he pulled away. She tensed visibly, at first afraid he was going to be angry with her or tell her to leave. But when he returned to his position, she realized it was something else. She sighed, knowing exactly what he was thinking of - his past. Sitting up, she slipped away from his grip and let the sheet drop from her shoulders as she bent over to pick up her clothing. She slipped into the pair of sweats he let her borrow and picked up the shirt, glancing around. Where was her bra? And for that matter, her underwear?

Ignoring that, she pulled the shirt over her head and looked at Jaxon sadly. "I think we should talk a bit." Just as she finished her sentence, a rumble of thunder over head made her jump, startled. She was about to start again when the lightening outside the window made her cringe, and she leapt back to bed, hiding her face in his chest without realizing she was even doing it at first. As the rain pattered down, she leaned back and laughed at herself. "Look at me, afraid of a silly storm." She had been the one kissing in the rain before! "Back to what I was saying... I'm too awake to just sit here. Do you have hot cocoa or something? I want to talk to you..." find out what you're hiding, why you pulled away from me earlier... "Oh, and have you seen my bra - and my underwear?" She frowned, sitting up on her knees. "I can't find them."

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon rolled his eyes when she got up to put her clothes on. If it were up to him, he would've suggested she just leave it all off. But he wasn't going to be pushy. He was, however, going to remain naked. Just for shits and giggles.

When Naveah jumped on him, hiding her face in his chest, he pouted and rubbed the top of her head. "There there, my little thing," he said with a British accent. "I believe I've got some cocoa.." he added as he pushed himself off the bed, looked down at his shorts, back at Naveah then shrugged before walking to the 'kitchen', fully naked. He expected a few giggles here and there as he did so.

"What do you wanna talk about?" he asked as he crouched down to reach under the sink for a tin of hot chocolate mix. He knew though. He knew she wanted to talk about why he'd freaked out and twitched. He could feel it. And I mean, that's only natural. She was worried about him, right? But what if something slipped about Heather? How awkward would it be if she knew that while they were laying there, he was thinking about Heather? Its not like he was thinking about her during sex.. only after! But still...

He scooped a good couple spoonfuls into a large mug that looked like Darth Vader's head and added water before putting it in the microwave. He then turned to look at her. "Oh your bra.. I don't know.." he said, totally serious. "Probably tangled up in the sheets, you crazy animal," he added with a wink.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah grinned and bit her lip to resist making a comment when he didn't bother with clothes. Guys were open to walking around like that, and the way he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal just made her giggle. She followed him to the kitchen, resisting to urge to check him out too much - a look here and there wasn't a big deal though, right? She had to be serious when he asked what she wanted to talk about, however. She took a seat at the table to wait for the hot cocoa, smiling at the fact that he made it for her, no questions asked. "I just... I know..." she didn't know how to start the conversation. "You used to have those bad... memories and I noticed you flinch... was it - was it my fault?" She blurted out.

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon turned from the microwave when Naveah asked if the flinching was his fault. "Oh Naveah, of course not," he said in a very sad tone. He shook his head. "Baby don't ever think my problems are your fault. Sometimes they just slip into my head.. whenever they want." Slowly, Jaxon went back to staring into the microwave just as it went off. He opened it, removed the cup and placed it in front of Naveah. He then took a seat across from her. "My twitching, my weirdness, none of that is ever your fault," he said, his arms crossed on the table.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah gently moved the cup in a circle, swirling around the warm drink. She wasn't particularly thirsty, she just wanted something comforting to make her feel better. This was all kind of hard for her - she had just slept with someone, which left her feeling a little too promiscuous for her taste. Not to mention it was storming and that frightened her sometimes. And now, they were talking about bad things? She didn't to know what went through Jax's mind to make him react the ways he did sometimes. It scared her to think of what had happened to him when he was a child... was that the same thing haunting him now?

Sighing, she leaned over and rested her head against Jaxon's bare shoulder. She took a drink of the cocoa and shut her eyes, sighing. "I wish..." she murmured, thinking aloud. "I wish I could take away all your problems. Even if that meant I had to deal with the things you deal with now... I just wish you didn't have to flinch and twitch and see or hear those memories relived all the time." She looked up at him, gently taking his chin in her fingertips. She turned his face so that she could look into his eyes. "I still remember... every detail you told me about... that night..." she meant the night Gray died. "I wish bad things didn't happen to good people like you."

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon fought back the urge to cry as she spoke to him. "Naveah, you're the best thing that ever happened to me," he said, his head down. "And if my past had been different, I might not have met you. No pain no gain," he said turning to look at her, a slight smile curving up his cheek.

"You really don't need to worry about my problems.. they're gone now," he sort of lied. They weren't gone. Over? Yes. Gone? No at all. He relived them almost daily. That's why he could never keep a job that didn't require more than filling and refilling coffee cups. The tiniest things reminded him of his past.. but having Naveah here kept his mind rather tame. He didn't have to worry with her around. Or did he, now that he was thinking about Heather?

He twitched again.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah put down her cup when he started talking. She was glad that she did, too, when he said that his problems were gone. Gone? Who was he trying to fool? She groaned, and slammed her fist against the table, glaring at him. Her eyebrows turned downward as she frowned, and her mouth was drawn into an annoyed pucker. Her eyes were sad, however, not flashing with the anger that made her connect her fist against the wooden table with a bang. It was louder than the thunder that was going on outside, and even made the cup rattle, spilling a bit of the hot cocoa. "Damnit, Jax!" she snapped.

Sliding her fist off the table, she flexed her fingers. They had been clenched tightly in her anger. "Stop lying to me. I know your problems aren't gone. Don't you think I can tell that? You still twitch and you still have those thoughts. Why..." she paused, sucking in a breath. She didn't want to say something wrong and make him angry. "I just hate knowing you've had these things happen and you still suffer from it." Slowly, a few tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away harshly. She sighed, and just put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, I'm over reacting. I just care about you, is all."

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon jumped when her fist hit the table. He went to calm her, putting his hand up, but she swore and he pulled back. "I.." he started, but she kept talking. He put his head down slightly when she said 'stop lying to me'. "I'm sorry.." he whispered. He hadn't been yelled at since his father locked him in the closet. He twitched again.

"I know you care, Naveah. I just need you to know that nothing that's wrong with me makes me any different.. I'm still Jaxon. I'm still your Jaxon that you met back in high school. Sure I've got a nasty twitch and sure my dreams keep me up at night.. but.." he paused and looked at her. "I'm sorry I lied. Its just hard to see you worry about such silly things."

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah sighed, mentally beating herself up for reacting so badly. "I'm sorry I snapped," she muttered, looking down at her lap. She didn't want to be mean; she knew it was rude. "I'm a bitch sometimes, I know it, and... I'm really sorry for yelling." She sipped her hot cocoa, looking for something to do, and then glanced up at him shyly. "But Jax... I know you're my Jaxon." She put emphasis on the word my for good reason. "I just... If I was having nightmares, and you could tell I was thinking about things that scare me, and you knew I was having problems with... things that I remembered... wouldn't you want to help somehow? Wouldn't you worry, even if I told you everything was ok?"

[Jax Porter]

Jaxon snorted. "It can't be helped," he whispered. It was all coming back now.. the darkness, the yelling, the fire, the laughing. He put his hands up to either side of his head. Not over his ears, but just above his temples. "Its not you, its not your fault. Nothing will make it go away," he said, a little louder this time as he closed his eyes and pushed his fingers hard against his head. If it weren't for the thunder and rain, you probably could've heard him clawing through his hair as it crinkled beneath his nails.

He was closing his eyes so hard. So hard that he looked as if he didn't even have eyes. His lips were moving, but his teeth were clenched as he mouthed something. How awkward he suddenly felt, sitting there naked, so vulnerable. He stood suddenly and rushed back to the bed, pulling the shorts back on from the floor. Hopelessly, he then collapsed onto the bed, his fists rubbing furiously into his eyes as he cried.

[Naveah Elaine Withers]

Naveah gulped as she realized she had started something she didn't know how to finish. She just wanted Jaxon to not have to live with all of this, and now where were they? She had snapped at him, and now she could see he was having trouble with the pain she had hoped she could rid him of. When he got up, she felt as though her throat was constricting. Her mouth was dry and she was clenching her teeth, trying not to cry, but it was hard. How could she have been so stupid, just to run off her trap like that?

She watched him pull on the shorts and collapse onto bed. She ignored her hot cocoa, knowing it wouldn't help her sand paper tongue and eyes brimming with tears. She got out of her seat and ran for the bed, trying not to actually sprint even though she just wanted to be there, by his side. She crawled up next to him, kneeling for a moment before she just bent over and put her head against his chest, and threw her arms around his shoulders. Awkwardly, she sat there, arms around him and cheek pressed to his heart. "I'm sorry, Jax," she murmured, her tears peppering his warm skin. After a moment, she got up and her eyes were dry, her throat freed. Hanging her head, she put her palms together and closed her eyes.

At first, it would look like she was going to cry again. In fact, she was just mouthing a quick prayer. She prayed for forgiveness, for being a pain. She prayed for her Lord to forgive her sins of passion - of technical adultery. But she spent most of the time praying for Jaxon, asking for some way to rid or lessen the pain he went through. She knew that whatever happened, happened for a reason, and maybe that wasn't His plan, but she was wishing, begging, that maybe someday Jax would be ok, no problems, just memories that don't come back to haunt him so violently. When she finished, she just stretched out next to him, head against his shoulder, arm across his chest. "Jax..." she murmured. "Do you really love me?"