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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 4:16:09 GMT -5
Austin had been looking at her hand when she was asleep, he had looked at the finger with the ring on it. It was one of the reasons why he had felt bad. Had he known it was an abstinence ring? It was hard to tell. He wasn't one to look at people's fingers upon meeting. However, after he had his fun, he started playing with her hand and that was when he noticed the ring and what it meant. Austin then knew he had messed up but there was nothing more to do than to sleep and wait until she woke up.
"Valerie, I'm sorry." Austin said, he looked back at her while widening his eyes. "I didn't notice your ring until after it happened. If I would have known what it meant, I would have stopped myself." He said. "No! No one knows what happened. I didn't do it for any reason to hurt you. I just did it because I wanted to know how sleeping with someone that didn't like you felt like." He answered truthfully.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 4:33:05 GMT -5
And there it was. There were the tears, forming, escaping from the corners of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks and Valerie didn't want to face Austin anymore, turning away and covering her face so he couldn't see her. She was crying in front of the guy she never let her guard down in front of, and she couldn't stop the tears, which only frustrated her further. He wanted to know what it was like to sleep someone he didn't like? Because that made it so much better. She lost her virginity to a guy who didn't even like her.
To top off that, there she was, crying about losing her virginity, which happened years ago, in front of the guy she lost it to, in a strip club, where she worked. When she looked down, all she saw was herself half-dressed, in a Christmas stripper outfit, which didn't really make her feel any better.
"You don't understand what that did to me, Austin," she finally said, not turning back to him, despite the tears stopping, "I lost everything after that."
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 4:43:27 GMT -5
Did Austin really like seeing people cry? No, not really. He might have found it satisfying if say, he was getting revenge but this was none of that. He sighed deeply, lowering his eyes before looking up to her. What he'd done had been done. Valerie should not be working here. So what if her virginity was taken by some dumb ass who just wasn't thinking straight. Sure, he found her attractive and maybe he did like her but that wasn't the point. The point was that Valerie felt like she failed in life which was certainly not true.
"Valerie, please, you shouldn't feel like your whole life has been wrecked just because of what happened between us." Austin said, using a soft, persuasive voice. He pushed his hair back after standing up and walking toward her. "I must have liked you because why else would I have stayed there or had taken to account your feelings." He said, "And why was it that we always ended up talking to each other or who was the guy that pushed you into becoming better than him?" Austin wanted to her to see the facts that they were both blind in.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 5:07:24 GMT -5
Val's arms were crossed, mostly in comfort, then stood perfectly still when she heard Austin get up and walk over to her. Her stomach turned, and she felt her cheeks burn as she tried to look for an explanation to their actions towards each other, trying to completely disregard the fact they could have possibly liked each other -- that Austin could ever have liked her, that Val could ever have liked him. She wouldn't accept it. She didn't want to. She shook her head, "No, I..." she turned her head, then glanced to him, "You couldn't have liked me, Kennedy."
Could he have been right? Was that why she always tried so hard to impress him? To prove him wrong, why she even gave him the time of day, despite the fact that he had driven her mad? She didn't completely blame him, or what happened, for how she was living now, how she ended up. Most of it was her own fault. Her own doing, her bad decisions influenced by her self worth, and part of her felt guilty for spilling that on him, though she still believed he was at fault.
She started to think deeper into it, turning back over to Austin, and looking up at him, uncrossing her arms, "I.." she let out a breath. There was a point in time where, she admittedly missed bickering with him, after high school. But she resolved that to just being a mindless thing, a habit that had been kicked and couldn't be fed anymore. Behind all their fights, could there have been feelings? Had she liked any of that? Val looked into his eyes, hesitantly, "That can't be it," she shook her head, "And even if it was, that's on your part, not mine. We weren't in love.."
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 14:42:16 GMT -5
Austin could think that there was a sort of attraction. Sure he had always had a more mature look to him and he was more experienced in almost everything than Valerie. However, none of that really mattered. They were kids as much as Austin would have liked to deny it. He hung around her the most just to bother her — just — and he wasn't trying to make he life impossible. He wasn't exactly a bully simply because he called her weirdo or fetus. As a matter of fact, he did so because she didn't seem to give a damn of being herself and maybe he was testing her. Did Valerie pass the test? Slightly.
"We don't know that..." Austin averted his eyes away before moving his hand up to his arm before looking to her. He rose both eyebrows slightly before asking her, "You...?" He wanted to know what she was going to say. Austin was content that at least she had told him what she wanted to be. Despite that she wasn't a backup dancer for Beyonce or Usher didn't mean she couldn't be. "Oh come on, you had to feel something for me other than dislike? You hardly knew me, anyways." She knew his name not his story. Mhm.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 14:57:05 GMT -5
Val felt tingles go up her arm when Austin touched her, and she wanted to move her arm away, but she didn't. He was right. She didn't know him, he surely didn't know her. Even today. She never knew him well enough to find a particular reason to dislike Austin, she just had it implanted in her mind that she did because of the way he treated her. Part of her enjoyed the challenge of proving him wrong, trying to impress him... but what was that? That couldn't have been a crush. Val didn't like guys like that, or so she'd been telling herself. She was battling each and every thought in her mind and it all began to spin around in her head, she was almost dizzy. This was the guy she'd been blaming in her mind the passed few years for how her life turned out, and yet, when he was finally back there, in front of her, putting these thoughts into her mind, she felt strangely more at ease than she had been in a long time.
She let out a shaky sigh, shaking her head, "You scare me sometimes," she admitted, "Not in a bad way, you just," she pursed her lips, trying to come up with the right words to explain it, "you make me nervous and I have no idea why." Val was only half-answering the question. Fear wasn't exactly a feeling that you have for someone, was it? There had to be something behind it.
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 15:21:11 GMT -5
Austin moved his hand away from her arm. He then pursed his lips together. Why was he so worried of what her opinion was about him? Was it because he felt something deeper than just physical attraction? He did his best not to remember what he'd done the other night because it was nothing to be proud of. At times, it just came up whether in dreams or daydreams. Austin did whatever he could to manipulate his dreams and take back everything. In some, he would look at her hand while they were at the party and in others he wouldn't approach her but let her there. But then again, it could have been someone else. Someone much more drunk and not him.
He moved in front of her and lowered his eyes to the floor before shifting them up to hers. "Why? I'm not all that great. That's what you think and I couldn't agree more." Austin nodded, shifting his eyes away from her.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 15:39:24 GMT -5
"You don't know what I'm thinking, Kennedy," Val averted her gaze to meet his, "you wouldn't want to know." Why would he think that? It was like every time they spoke, new questions brewed up in her head. She thought it was quite smart, sneaky, the way they had these sort of mind games with each other. It was like, she wanted to know more about him but she didn't want him to know anything about her, which just wasn't fair nor was it possible with the way she just kept spilling the truth to him.
"But, you're wrong." she looked down, "I don't think that about you. And you shouldn't think that about yourself." Val tried hard to think of what to say without specifically telling him exactly what she was thinking. Austin was a great guy, from what she could tell, though it pained her to admit it. He wasn't as bad as she had made him up to be over the years. He surely proved that to her. How could she say this without admitting to what she was actually thinking?
"I wasn't happy that it was you I ended up giving it to at first," she inhaled, staring at the floor now so he wouldn't look at her face, "but you were a good guy. For staying."
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 16:23:06 GMT -5
Austin looked to her and raised an eyebrow, he was surprised that Valerie thought he was a good guy. What did he ever do to make that true? Simply because he stayed with her the whole night until she woke up. Other than that he was still the slimy, arrogant Austin he was before. Or maybe he wasn't.
"I'm happy you think that and I really am sorry for what I did. But if you don't remember maybe the other times you have had been more different?" Austin was sure she'd had many guys after that. "Okay, that was really stupid of me to say."
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 16:42:46 GMT -5
Val really would've hit Austin for suggesting such a thing but she shook it off, starting to smile a little bit, actually, though she had tried not to. Being a stripper, the opportunity for sex was always there. Maybe not with the most attractive people, but it was still there, not that Val ever really took it. "I've gotten close," she admitted, pursing her lips, "but I've never gotten through with it." She shook her head, feeling a little weird as she admitted this, "I've always wanted only one," she scrunched her nose as she said it, "sex partner in my whole life," she bit her tongue for a second, looking at Austin intently, "I thought the person I lost it to would be the only person I would ever be with," she glanced to the side, "ever."
She turned her head away, then placed her hands on her hips, "Not that I thought--" she shook her head, "I just, it... still feels dirty. The idea of being with being with more than one person. I'm not -- I can't sleep around. I can't go through with things without feeling something," looking back up at him, she bit her lip, "as much as I think I've changed I'm still the same 'Val-er-ie' from back in high school."
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 16:59:13 GMT -5
Austin tilted his head to the side. He found it hard to believe that she hadn't gone the whole way with another guy. Very hard to believe and the fact that she probably didn't have a boyfriend. Valerie could probably get any guy she wanted during the daylight because there were plenty of men out there. Actually men with very nice money and young too — much like Austin himself. Could they actually give it a try? He would never bail her out not even in front of his family. He thought for a second before talking to himself mentally You have never been in an actual relationship. But it's not too late is it?
"Well in that case," Austin meant the case of her still being the same Valerie in high school. He extended out his hand and said, "Nice to meet you lady in red, my name is Austin Kennedy." Maybe starting over would be the best and he said lady in red to make her believe she really wasn't wearing a tiny Santa outfit.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 17:56:07 GMT -5
Scrunching her eyebrows in confusion, Valerie looked at Austin in disbelief. What was he doing? They were the same two people who actually took the time to bicker at a bar in the middle of a nightclub five years ago, rather than take the time to find and talk to people they actually liked. Would this work? Could it? Part of Val wanted to drop the act and get him to explain himself, because she honestly thought this was a joke... but from the look in his eye, it wasn't.
Valerie found herself smiling slightly, hesitating a second before taking his hand, "Valerie Samuels," she smirked, "nice to meet you, Mr. Kennedy." For most of the passed hour, it hadn't even felt like she was in a strip club with Austin. She'd honestly forgotten she was wearing some risque, slutty Santa outfit -- he had a weird way of making her forget reality, the way his words distracted her mind like that.
She looked at him, curiously, "Why are you doing this?" she raised an eyebrow.
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 21:05:20 GMT -5
Austin was not joking at all. He thought that if they were going to be nice to one another it was best to start again. As two strangers who'd just met. Was it crazy? Slightly. He smiled brightly, first time in a while, and nodded. "Just call me Austin. I'm just Austin." he said with a chuckle before raising an eyebrow and sighing.
"I'm doing this because we got off to a very rough start." he began to explain his actions. "We have different impressions of one another that are not true. We're different people, and we don't know that. But, I want to get to know you." Austin said with a soft, closed smile. "And if you'd like to do the same, you're more than welcome to but I won't be leaving here without an answer." he grinned softly.
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Post by Valerie Samuels on Oct 4, 2012 21:41:46 GMT -5
"Either you're nothing like you used to be in high school," Val half-smiled, "or you're right: I don't know you." she crossed her arms as she looked up at him. If someone had told her years ago that she'd be in this kind of a situation with Austin Kennedy, she would've been disgusted. But, now? She looked at him, thinking about it after he had explained himself. "You sure you want to get to know me, Ken-- Austin?" she raised an eyebrow, "You're willing to find out more?" Her lips began to curve up, into a smile as she took one step closer, "'Cause it's gonna take you a while." she insisted, cocking her head to the side.
She looked down, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on her hips, "But, I mean," she shook her head, shifting her gaze up to meet his, "I'd like to get to know you too."
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Post by austin on Oct 4, 2012 21:57:28 GMT -5
"I really don't know, but I do want to get to know you." Austin said with a soft smile before tilting his head to the side. He then looked down slightly before shifting his eyes up to the side. "Really?" he rose an eyebrow.
Austin leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the lips. He said, "Did that give you anything?" he asked her, "Like nausea, vomit, butterflies ... Wasps?" he was serious. Who knew what sort of feelings he emerged from her. But he was typically straight forward.
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