Post by Damien Knowles on Sept 3, 2012 4:17:41 GMT -5
09:43am
You know what, I'm gonna say it.
I've been feeling better lately.
Yes, my mood swings are still frequent, but I've been dealing with them. I've not broken a single plate, picture frame or mirror. I haven't cut myself in three weeks. I mean, I've been doing other things, just not cutting.
I've got to be honest and admit, I'm feeling slightly happy again.
Still, there's
I could go find him right now...
-
Damien stared at his computer screen, watching the insertion point flash, his fingers hovering above the keyboard.
'I could go find him right now...', he re-read his own words, a frown on his face.
Why didn't I think of this before? I've been sat here, like some sort of freakin' damsel in distress, waiting for him to come back. When I could go find him!
There was a smile stretching across Damien's face now. Hurriedly he clicked 'post to blog', and shut down his computer. It didn't occur to him that it was still early morning, and he had no idea how he was going to find out where
A quick shower later, and Damien was ready to leave the apartment. Like, properly leave it, which he hadn't done for weeks. Yeah he'd been down to the store but it was literally outside the building. Today, well, he wasn't even sure where he was going to end up, but he was obliviously optimistic.
It felt strange, going out of his door, locking it behind him, he just stood there. One hand pressed against the door. You can do this, just walk down the hall, walk outside, and go find him.Damien took a deep breath and spun around, down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door. In to the real world.
For a second Damien just stood there, watching cars go by, nervously adjusting his leather jacket. Which way to go? Cautiously Damien looked around, as if Nolan might suddenly jump out of a storm drain or something. No such luck.
The record store! Where they'd first met! Nolan was probably there right now, working. Damien smiled to himself, setting off in the direction of the store. Well, this was going to be easier than he thought.
-
'He quit?', Damien was leaning on the desk of the record store, where he used to work, about four years ago. It was a pretty run-down place, but that was why he liked it.
'Yeah, about six months ago', Travis, the owner of the store, replied.
Damien bit his lip, and looked down at the glass top of the counter, catching a glimpse of his reflection. There were dark circles beneath his eyes, he was hard to look at, so he looked up at Travis instead.
'Do you have any idea where he is?', Damien asked, his voice quiet. This had been the only idea he had, after this, well, he didn't know where to turn. Nolan never answered his phone calls, or his texts, and, though Damien hated to admit it, he had reason now to answer them.
'Actually, I know his address', Travis replied, he looked uneasy, unable to make eye contact, preferring to play with a loose strand of cotton from his shirt.
'Well, can I have it?', Damien asked, leaning forward over the counter, he gave Travis a meaningful look.
'I guess, but', Travis looked up and sighed, as if what he was about to say would be difficult, 'I heard about what you did Damien, and maybe, don't you think, he'd be better off without you?'.
Damien's hands turned in to fists and he exhaled sharply, like he'd been punched in the stomach.
'I've changed, I'm getting better, give me his address', Damien said firmly, unclenching his fists and forcing himself to give Travis the expression of a calm sane person.
-
One bus ride away. All this time, Nolan had been one bus ride away. Damien stood outside the building. It was a fancy place. How could Nolan even afford this?
Damien felt an overwhelming fear of talking one step further. It seemed as though his shoes were glued to the ground. I'll just stand here and wait for him to come out. That'd be a better idea, right? It felt like anything would be better than going over and knocking on that door.
After what seemed like hours Damien took a step forward. Clutching the piece of paper with the address on it. Anxiously he looked down, yep, this was definitely the place. No going back now. Damien stuffed the piece of paper in his pocket and walked to the front door, knocking on it four times before he could tell himself not to.
