Damien's Apartment

[Damien Knowles]

Damien detests anything fancy, it reminds him too much of his home he used to have with his parents. Therefore, he avoids making his apartment look too classy, and prefers to keep it simple.

[Damien Knowles]

The trip to the hospital was a brief one. The doctors informed the pair that there wasn't much treatment for a broken nose, just ice and aspirin for the pain. They put a sort of band aid across the bridge of Nolan's nose, which was supposed to help in some way, but honestly, Damien hadn't really been listening. Hospitals always kind of freaked him out, so he was busy trying not to run out of the front door.

When they reached the apartment Damien walked in, throwing his keys on to the table. With a sigh he spun around to face Nolan.
'Home sweet home', he smiled, and then frowned, realizing that this wasn't really the time to be making jokes.
'You can drop yours stuff wherever', he added, gesturing around the room.

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan sat his bag down on the table. Everything looked exactly the same. It was almost eery how similar everything was.
"Yeah...home," he commented absentmindedly. He was looking around, taking everything in. It even smelled the same. Like he hadn't even cleaned or done the dishes since he left. He probably hadn't, knowing Damien. Nolan was like his little house wife.

He turned back to him after a few minutes. "I can't believe you haven't done anything with it," he was just so surprised. It seemed like he hadn't moved on at all. Here we was, moving in with another man, quitting his job, changing his look — and Damien had done everything almost exactly the same. It was weird to him. It even made him feel like he was a bad person, because he'd moved on so quickly.

[Damien Knowles]

'Not true!', Damien objected, striding over to the couch and picking up a red cushion, 'This is new, and also I got some new bed sheets, and the fish died, so I bought new fish', he smiled slightly and sat down on the couch, kicking off his boots and crossing his legs.

The place did look pretty much the same though, he had to give Nolan that. Honestly, he didn't want to change it. The whole place reminded him of times with Nolan, and that's why he'd held on to it. Despite the overall shabby appearance of the apartment, he had kept it fairly clean too.

It was weird though, being back in the apartment with Nolan. Not really knowing what was going on between them. They obviously weren't back together, just because Damien had come over and broke Nolan and Don up. That wasn't how it worked, but it'd be amazing if it was. The trip to the hospital, the bus ride back, Damien had been dying to say something, do something. The amount of times he'd almost reached out to take his hand when they were walking together. It was driving him crazy.

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan laughed. Damien was acting like the same little monkey he used to be, he couldn't help but crack a smile. It almost felt normal, like nothing had changed. Everything felt seventeen and perfect.
"You seem pretty proud of yourself," he was still smiling like an idiot when he looked down and noticed his clothes. Immediately the grin left him when he saw that he still had blood on his shirt and jeans.
He ran his hands across a spot on his shirt as if that was going to do anything. "I need to get out of these..." he murmured, and then opened his suitcase to find something to wear.
There wasn't much in there. Three pairs of jeans, one pair of sweat pants, six t-shirts, and a black hoodie. It was then that he remembered there were probably still some of his things hanging in the closet. He'd left in such a rush, he'd only grabbed the closest things. He wasn't going to ask about the clothes now though, since he didn't want to bring up any kind of negativity. And him leaving was definitely negative.

He pulled the sweatpants and a white t-shirt out, and almost changed right there because it felt so natural. But suddenly he realized that he just couldn't do that in front of Damien. Not because he was worried about being judged or anything, but his chest was in such bad condition because of Don...he didn't think Damien need to see that.
Sighing, he walked to the bathroom and slipped into the clothes. When he came back out a little cleaner, he shyly walked over to the couch Damien was on and sat on the opposite end. He balled himself up, looking at the man he loved with those big brown eyes of his. He knew he shouldn't have been, but he was scared, mixed with a range of other emotions — confused, self-conscious, anxious, tired, and comfortable in a weird way. He was waiting for Damien to say something, anything, to make him feel better.

[Damien Knowles]

'I am', Damien replied, grinning back, just pleased to see a smile on Nolan's face. When he left the room to change Damien let out a sigh and looked around the room. It seemed so un-natural for him to have to leave the room to get changed. It made his sad that he had to keep reminding himself, We're not boyfriends anymore.

When Nolan returned Damien smiled over at him, wanting to cheer him up in any way possible. The things he'd usually say though, felt wrong right now. You look adorable. The things that hurt him the most was how far away he sat from him, did he think he was going to hit him or something? Had Don seriously made him that cautious around people?

'This is so weird', Damien murmered quietly, he glanced over at Nolan and bit his lip, then smiled.
'You're so...', he shook his head, No! You cannot tell him he's adorable, he isn't your boyfriend anymore. 'Do you want a drink, or a hug, or ... you know, coffee, whatever? Cigarette?', Damien rushed through his words, the hug thing had come out of no where and he regretted it.

[Nolan DeSanto]

I want all of those things, but mostly I want you.

"No, I'm okay. Thanks," Nolan smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was silently freaking out. He just needed some affirmation that everything was going to be okay. He didn't know if Don would ever come back to find him, but right now he was with the one people who'd ever made him feel safe and he needed that reassurance. He needed to know that he wasn't going to get hurt again.
But even he knew that Damien couldn't promise that. He knew he'd never get hit again, but he had a drug problem, and that shit turned him into a completely different person. Someone who was mean. And he'd almost rather be beaten up everyday than have the most important person in his life tell him he was worthless.

He looked down at the couch and started picking at a loose string of fabric. "It's um...kind of cold lately, huh?" Nolan couldn't believe that he was actually talking about the weather, but it was the first thing he thought of. He just didn't want it to be quiet.

[Damien Knowles]

Damien pulled a face and scooted along the couch so he was sat next to Nolan. The weather, seriously? They'd just had this huge dramatic ordeal with Don, a trip to the hospital, and Nolan was talking about the weather.

Damien shook his head and took hold of Nolan's hands, to stop his picking his shirt apart.
'Look, everything's going to be okay', he told him, he ran his thumbs over the tattooed letters on Nolans fingers. Halloween, as he read the word he realised how much he'd missed those tattoo's.
'I promise I'm never going to let that guy come near you ever again', he assured him, 'I really mean it', he added, squeezing Nolan's hands.

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan sighed and closed his eyes, feeling a huge weight lift off of him. Just being this close to Damien felt right. Like it was exactly where he was supposed to be.
Instinctively, he laid his head on his shoulder, melting against him. They just fit so well together. It was as if their bodies had been molded so perfectly that they fit like two jigsaw puzzle pieces.

He hadn't noticed he was crying until one of his tears hit his chin. He hadn't cried in front of anyone in a very long time. Don didn't like crying, so he could only ever do it when he was at work.
"I'm scared, Damien," he whispered after a minute, wiping his face with the hand that wasn't being held. These past six months living with Donald had scared Nolan in more ways than just the physical. He was pretty sure he'd always be living in fear of him now.

ooc:
so cheesy omg XDD

[Damien Knowles]

Damien smiled and gently rested his head on top of Nolans. This was perfect, he could happily stay that way forever. It was almost as if nothing had changed. If it wasn't for Nolan's black eye, and broken nose, and other bruises Damien had yet to see. Now all he had to do was not fuck it up all over again.

Damien didn't know Nolan was crying until he spoke, and he looked down at him.
'Don't be, please, don't be scared', he whispered back, even though he was scared too. Not scared of getting beaten up, he didn't care about that. Scared of not being able to help Nolan if Don ever did come back.
'Don't cry sweetie', he whispered, he couldn't help buy cry when Nolan was, and he could already feel tears welling up in his eyes. It didn't even occur to him that he'd called him 'sweetie', it was just habit.

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan buried his head in Damien's neck and tried to stop crying with everything he had. He was just feeling an awful mix of emotions, and it was like his body didn't know what else to do, other than cry.
"I'm sorry, I just..." he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have a good excuse.
Just confused. Just tired. Just hurt. Just angry. Just scared.

After a few minutes, he finally settled back down and was able to lift his face again. He leaned his head against the couch and looked up at Damien with bloodshot eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said again with a small smile.

[Damien Knowles]

Damien wrapped his arms around Nolan and held his tight, he held his own head up high and tried not to think about Nolan crying his eyes out. I will not cry, I'm gonna be the strong protective one, he repeated the same thing over and over in his head.

It wasn't too long before Nolan seemed to pull himself together and stop crying. Damien smiled, and with his free hand, wiped away his tears, gently, so as not to hurt his black eye.
'You don't need to be sorry', he replied, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on Nolan's broken nose. There, it was done. Awkward first kiss over. It was only on his nose, but still, it counted.

Honestly, Damien didn't know if they were getting back together or what. Still, it felt right. People have broken noses, kisses make things better. It was only logic right?

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan tried to smile up at him, but it turned into more of a grimace. He wanted to kiss him so badly. Just lay on top of him for hours, kissing those lips for all of the months he wasn't able to. Like nothing had changed, and the only time that had passed since their last kiss was a few minutes.

But he couldn't do that. Everything was different. He was different. While Damien had stayed nearly exactly the same, he had become this shell of a person who was afraid of his own shadow. He'd let a man destroy everything he had, simply because he needed somewhere to stay.
He didn't deserve someone like Damien to take care of him. He deserved to be back with Donald Hersberg getting the crap kicked out of him, because he was no better than that.

"I'm tired," he said after a few minutes so Damien wouldn't think something was up. Truth be told, he was tired. And maybe a nice rest in their bed would be enough to make him feel just a little bit better.

[Damien Knowles]

'Okay, well, you know where the bed is', Damien did he best to smile, as he stood up and headed over to the kitchen. Coffee. The drug he didn't need to restrain himself from. There was a whole load of thoughts flying through his mind that he didn't want to deal with. A big part of him wanted to drown his mind in something a little stronger than caffeine, but he couldn't. That'd be the stupidest idea in the world right now.

'I'll be out here', Damien added, needlessly gesturing to the living room. Where else would he go? There was only one room, and it was getting dark outside. Not that Damien ventured out of the apartment much anyway.

[Nolan DeSanto]

Nolan nodded and got off of the couch, heading to the bedroom. He immediately snuggled into the sheets and feel asleep in a matter of minutes. It was like his mind just needed to be shut off so badly, because he hadn't actually slept in days.

Two hours later, he woke back up in a panic. He had another nightmare. That'd been happening to him a lot lately. They always involved big dark rooms and loud noises. It always felt so real, like it was actually happening.
When he woke again, he was confused as to where he was. It took him a second to remember that he was back home, and that Damien was probably just in the other room.
Quietly, he slipped the comforter around his shoulders and walked out into the living room. Everything looked blue in the glow of the TV, and for a second he froze. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to be asking, but he just needed someone to hold him.

"D...?" He was just barely louder than a whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Damien, can you um..." he looked down at his feet and tightened the blanket around him. "Can you come lay down with me? I just...I..." he didn't finish his sentence. He felt like such a child. This wasn't the kind of thing a grown man would do, ask his ex boyfriend to come cuddle with him because he had a nightmare. But he just needed that so badly, he hoped Damien wouldn't mind.