Post by Esme Russel on Aug 22, 2012 6:30:20 GMT -5
"Mommy, do you love me?"
The tiny question caught Esme off guard; what happened? Did she hear something? "Yes, of course I love you, sweetie." Cici pursed her lips and the answer seemingly satisfied her for the time being. She snuggled into her mother's warm body and pointed to the book on her nightstand. "Once upon a---" "Mommy?" She interrupted with wide eyes, "Does daddy love me?" Did dad--- "Yes... Yes, daddy loves you very much. You're his baby girl! Why do you ask?" She was trying desperately to figure out why her daughter was asking so many questions but she was resisting which was quite concerning. Was she hurt? Depressed? Could five year olds be depressed?
"Why don't you love daddy anymore?"
Oh that question.
She thought that she had years before she had to answer that one but here she was beside her wide eyed daughter feeling like a total loser because she knew that this was going to be hard to understand at five. We grew apart? We weren't meant to be? How could she expect a toddler to understand the complexities of an adult relationship? "Cici, you know how daddy loves Avery and I love Hudson? Well, your daddy and I didn't love each other... No, daddy and I loved each other. I loved your daddy but sometimes people grow up and they change and sometimes they grow apart and your daddy and I realized that while we loved each other very much... We just couldn't be a couple anymore. But, that doesn't mean that we never loved each other or that we still don't but it's a different love like what you feel for your auntie Carol and uncle Wyatt." She paused and ran her finger's through her sweet daughter's blonde hair, "The important thing is that we will never stop loving you, okay? You're our little girl and you come before anyone else in the world, okay? And if you ever have a problem with Avery then you tell me, okay?" She'd read the statistics on stepparents and abuse. She could never imagine Hudson or Avery doing such a thing but she didn't want to be the parent who doesn't believe their child and lets it happen over and over for years.
She wasn't going to let anyone hurt her daughter.
Story time lasted longer than average that night and Esme let out a heavy sigh when she saw that Hudson was already asleep, oh the things that she gave up to be a mother. So, she sat up in their bed and just thought. She came to a dark realization when she was up, one day Hudson was going to die. She couldn't remember what made her think of it but one day, her husband wasn't going to be laying right beside her and Cici wouldn't be in a room down the hall.
She'd have her own family and her own life and she'd be left alone in this big apartment.
That was the moment that she truly wanted another baby, she wanted to know that a part of Hudson would live on even after he was gone.
The tiny question caught Esme off guard; what happened? Did she hear something? "Yes, of course I love you, sweetie." Cici pursed her lips and the answer seemingly satisfied her for the time being. She snuggled into her mother's warm body and pointed to the book on her nightstand. "Once upon a---" "Mommy?" She interrupted with wide eyes, "Does daddy love me?" Did dad--- "Yes... Yes, daddy loves you very much. You're his baby girl! Why do you ask?" She was trying desperately to figure out why her daughter was asking so many questions but she was resisting which was quite concerning. Was she hurt? Depressed? Could five year olds be depressed?
"Why don't you love daddy anymore?"
Oh that question.
She thought that she had years before she had to answer that one but here she was beside her wide eyed daughter feeling like a total loser because she knew that this was going to be hard to understand at five. We grew apart? We weren't meant to be? How could she expect a toddler to understand the complexities of an adult relationship? "Cici, you know how daddy loves Avery and I love Hudson? Well, your daddy and I didn't love each other... No, daddy and I loved each other. I loved your daddy but sometimes people grow up and they change and sometimes they grow apart and your daddy and I realized that while we loved each other very much... We just couldn't be a couple anymore. But, that doesn't mean that we never loved each other or that we still don't but it's a different love like what you feel for your auntie Carol and uncle Wyatt." She paused and ran her finger's through her sweet daughter's blonde hair, "The important thing is that we will never stop loving you, okay? You're our little girl and you come before anyone else in the world, okay? And if you ever have a problem with Avery then you tell me, okay?" She'd read the statistics on stepparents and abuse. She could never imagine Hudson or Avery doing such a thing but she didn't want to be the parent who doesn't believe their child and lets it happen over and over for years.
She wasn't going to let anyone hurt her daughter.
Story time lasted longer than average that night and Esme let out a heavy sigh when she saw that Hudson was already asleep, oh the things that she gave up to be a mother. So, she sat up in their bed and just thought. She came to a dark realization when she was up, one day Hudson was going to die. She couldn't remember what made her think of it but one day, her husband wasn't going to be laying right beside her and Cici wouldn't be in a room down the hall.
She'd have her own family and her own life and she'd be left alone in this big apartment.
That was the moment that she truly wanted another baby, she wanted to know that a part of Hudson would live on even after he was gone.
