Conson |Top of the Tower|

[kegan]

Kegan had only been here once or twice for business deals, so he knew Thalia would love it. It was one of the most romantic restaurants in all of New York, with a glorious view of the city, right at the top of The Beekman Tower Hotel.
Truth be told, he was a little nervous about this date, which was new for him. He hadn't been nervous in years. But here he was, sitting at this table, staring at the shiny building, trying to stop shaking. Thankfully, he wasn't sweating or his Calvin Klein suit would be ruined. Well. Maybe not ruined. But dry cleaning was a bitch.
(I don't feel like describing his suit so here:
cki.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pCKI1-4931585v275.jpg )

He'd already had the waiter bring out a bottle of white zinfandel wine that he remembered Thalia had liked when he brought it for them. It was still one of his favorites.
He sipped the alcohol in his glass slowly, trying to calm his nerves. He wasn't so sure this was a good idea anymore, but it didn't matter. These reservations had been hard to make, and here was here, and by golly, this was going to be a good night. As long as his name was Kegan Conley, he was going to have a good night tonight. Regardless of how nervous he was.

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia got to the top of the building and had been escorted by one of the waiters. Once she walked over to Kegan she leaned down and kissed him cheek before sitting across from him in her seat. She was wearing a red strapless dress that came to a little above her knee, with a pair of black heels. She remember Kegan's favorite color was red, and she looked great in it. So, it was a win win situation. Her legs looked great with the dress too, and for some odd reason she could never figure out. He loved her thighs/legs. She got her nails done red also, along with her toes. Her blonde hair was down and straightened to it's full length. She could tell Kegan was nervous, but she was too. So it was fair game.

"Kegan, you're nervous... Why? I'm still the same Thalia you have known for nine years. There's no reason to be"Thalia calmly said with a smile as she took a sip out of the wine glass that was on her side of the table. Now he would probably call her out on being nervous, only because they knew each other so well. Truth be told, she hasn't changed much. She had matured into a women and wasn't a seventeen year old girl anymore. That was the only difference now. And she still had a great laugh, which hasn't changed one little bit. "You still like white zinfandel wine I see... I remember this was your favorite thing to drink in high school"she said with a small laugh. He was like obsessed with it back in the day.

[kegan]

Kegan blushed when she kissed his cheek, and called him out on being nervous.
"Oh...no reason. I just um...I left Beth with the nanny for the night, so it's kind of weird for me." That was an obvious lie. He didn't even have a nanny — he either left her with his parents or with Carol and Wyatt, so he never had anything to worry about. Tonight she was with his father at the penthouse, since his mother had gone back home to check on things.
He took a long sip of the wine. "Yeah, I um...Yeah." Very articulate, Kegan. Tell us more about the books you must be writing with a vocabulary like that.

"You look nice tonight," he smiled at her, taking in her dress. She always looked beautiful in red. And she'd matured so much over the years. The only different in him was that he was now able to grow a beard. And his beard almost always looked idiotic. Thalia was a woman now. A drop dead gorgeous woman, and he still felt like a little boy. He even had a little boy's haircut. Not that he was going to change it anytime soon. He liked looking young in the business, it made people surprised that he was so talented, because he still looked no older than seventeen.

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia shook her head with a small chuckle. Did he really think he could lie to her after nine years of knowing each other? She could call Kegan out on probably any lie he would make. Only because she knew him so well. He still looked cute when he blushed also. She could most likely remember everything about Kegan. Mainly because you remember almost anything about your first love. Kegan was her first ever serious relationship, and that's probably why he meant so much to her deep down.

Thalia blushed slightly when he said she looked nice to tonight. With a smile she looked up at him, "Thank you. You look nice to Kegan"she said before taking a sip out of her wine glass. She glanced out at the city before back at Kegan. "This place is amazing. Thank you for taking me out tonight"she said. She thought about what they talked about earlier, then the thought came to her. "I called your assistant (I think that's who you said she needed to call. If not, imagine she said that person. XD ). I have a audition next Tuesday"she told him with a smile. She wasn't so sure about the idea of her getting back into theater/acting. But, it made good money. And right now she needed that desperately if she wanted to stay being able to take care of Emily.

[kegan]

Kegan nodded, "I know, she told me. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine." He could tell she was a little nervous at the thought of acting again, but he knew she'd be fine. He had faith in her. Was Thalia as talented as some actresses he's worked with? No, she wasn't. But she still had some raw talent that could be molded and she could easily be transformed into a Broadway star.

"So what have I missed?" He asked her with a smile. His entire life (aside from his marriage that only came into light after his wife died) was pretty much known to anyone with a computer. He was a widely successful director at only twenty-one. People knew things about him. But ever since Thal's fall, there was no way he could have known what was going on with her, without contacting her. Which he certainly didn't want to do, because he was pretty sure she hated him. He was more than shocked that she actually wanted to come out with him tonight. He didn't deserve even a second of her time, but here she was, ready to spend and entire evening with him.

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia smiled, "I hope so"she said. Then shrugged, "Nothing really. I mean, the fall was the only 'interesting' thing that happened to me apparently. For a year after my fall I had reporters coming up to me asking what the real cause for my fall was. I mean, i'm sure you now how it is. Something happens in your life when you're important or being on TV or something. And everyone wants to know the real reason behind it. The coach played it off saying my hand just slipped off the bar because I didn't get a good enough grip. But anyone can easily tell that wasn't it"she said taking a sip out of her drink. Being on TV for Olympic training and then falling on your ass was super embarrassing. Mainly because people in the Olympics are serious hard core people who train like Thalia was at the time. Not many people would expect someone to be so weak from bulimia they fall off uneven bars like Thalia did.

She looked up at him, "Other then whats on the internet and such. What has been going on with you?"she asked raising a eye brow at him. Truth be told. Whenever she was on the internet and his name came up. She would exit off the site quickly. She wanted nothing to remind her of Kegan at the time. So she barely read anything. The reason she knew everything going on in Kegans life, well was obvious. Carol was best friends with both her and Kegan. She was pretty sure Carol probably talked a little bit about Thalia to Kegan like she did with Kegan to Thalia.

[kegan]

Kegan shrugged, "My life is pretty much uninteresting. The only fun thing I have going on is Beth, everything else is just work. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but...it's not really that fun to talk about, without name dropping or something like that."

The waiter walked over to them, and asked them for their course orders. Naturally, Kegan ordered for Thalia just like he used to in college. "I'd like the calamari for my first course, and lobster ravioli for my second. As for the lady..." He glanced down at the menu, trying to remember the things that Thalia liked. "She'll have the Prosciutto Di Parma Salad, and the Garganelli Pasta." He smiled up at the young man taking their orders, and handed him their menus.
When he was gone, he looked back at Thalia. He hadn't meant to be such a control freak, but he just did what he used to do. "I'm sorry, I just..." he shrugged, looking down and blushing. He felt like he was screwing up this date completely. He was acting like the same scared little boy she used to know, not the confident business man he had become.

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia nodded as he said that about his job. "I get it. I mean, my job isn't as busy as yours. But, Emily is the only fun thing I have going. I really regret not adopting her when she was four years old when I had the chance. But, having her for the past seven years in my life has been enough"she said with a smile. She glanced up at the waiter who had walked over and waited for Kegan to order .

Thalia couldn't help but giggle at his reaction after he ordered for her. He used to always do that in college for her. And it was cute he still remembered what she would have ate if they would have came here before. "Don't be sorry. I probably would have had him standing there for hours. I'm terrible at picking what I want to eat"she said with a smile. Then rested her hands in lap before looking at him. "Kegan, why are you acting so shy? And tell me the truth. There is no reason to be. We're just two adults that have known each other for nine years going out for dinner. I haven't changed at all, so I don't know why you have been acting all nervous" her voice was calm as she spoke. Kegan was so easy to read. She could always tell when he was nervous, anxious, happy, sad, mad, ect.

[kegan]

Kegan sighed, dropping his ridiculous act. "If you really want the truth...I feel like an asshole for hurting you like I did all those years ago. You shouldn't even be here with me. Hell! You should have slapped me or threw your coffee in my face when you saw me earlier today. So I'm sitting here, trying not to fuck things up any further, but I keep making it worse..."
He shrugged and looked out on the cityscape. It felt good getting it all out in the open like that, but he still felt like an idiot for being that honest. It was a very rare thing for him to tell someone how he really felt anymore. Being back with Thalia was making him feel so...like the old him. He wasn't even sure whether or not that was a good or bad thing. He liked the person he'd become over the years, and now he was turning into some teenage fool because of his exgirlfriend!

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia laughed and looked at him. "You really think you keep making things worse?"she asked before shaking her head. "You're not, Kegan. And, the past was the past. You love you wife. There's nothing I can do about that. You can't help the fact you love her more then me"she said before placing her hand over him. "Stop worrying whether you keep screwing up or not. Be yourself Kegan. And I have never hit you or hurt you Kegan, so why would I throw my coffee in your face or slap you? "she asked with a small laugh. "As far as I see it. The past is the past. It happened, there's nothing we could do to fix it or change it"she said with a smile. She knew he felt bad. She could tell from the minute she saw him at the coffee shop. She moved her hand from his and looked out at the city. "The day we had coffee with her because you introduced me to her when you first met her... I knew you liked her Kegan. I didn't tell you I knew, or thought it because I didn't want to sound like a idiot or be jealous. But, too be honest, I saw it coming. The way you looked and me, and the way you looked at her. They were completely different. You might have been in love with me at the time. But you were crazy about her"she said with a smile.

[kegan]

Kegan sighed. He remembered that day clearly now. He'd wanted Thalia and Liz to meet because they were his two favorite girls. Liz was just his best friend at the time, and he was still in love with Thalia. But like she said...he was crazy about her. He tried fighting it off for months, but eventually...he couldn't. He had to break up with Thalia.
Liz was the one who actually tried to convince him to stay with Thal. Not because she didn't want to be with him, but because she liked Thalia, and she could understand what it was like to be in love with Kegan. She knew that if the roles were reversed, and if Kegan were about to break up with her...she would be devastated. She didn't want another girl to feel that pain, but Kegan was ready. He made the decision that changed everything, and it hurt three people. Thalia because of obvious reasons, him because a part of him would always care about her and he couldn't stand seeing her hurt like that, and Liz because she was so soft hearted that seeing two people break like that wasn't easy for her. Even if she was getting what she wanted.
For a while after the breakup, Kegan was a different person. He was grieving over their relationship because he did love Thalia. There was a time where he never wanted it to end. But he knew it had to. The moment he met Liz, he knew she was the one. It was that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, when you lock eyes and say, Oh. There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. And that was it. He should have known months before their relationship ended that things weren't going to work with Thalia, but he still loved her. He didn't want to break her heart.
He was lucky enough that Liz was so understanding. She held him while he cried over another girl, and pretended she wasn't crying herself. She played with the hair on the back of his neck as he soaked numerous shirts every night with his tears over Thalia and what he'd done to her.
But eventually, he stopped hurting. It felt like an eternity for them both, but it was really only about a week or so. Once they got through that rough patch, their relationship was amazing, and they were soon married. Every once in a while though, Kegan would still ache over knowing that he'd hurt the sweetest, most loving girl he knew.

"I'm sorry," Kegan said after a few minutes of silence. He didn't turn back to her, he just kept his eyes looking over the city. "I know what I did was messed up...but you have to believe me when I say that it wasn't planned at all. I never wanted to hurt you." He thought for a second. "And I never cheated on you, by the way. I know you must have thought that, but Liz never would have let me do that." He blushed when he realized how horrible that sounded. There were a few nights when the two of them were alone together "studying" where he'd tried to kiss her, but she'd stopped him because he had a girlfriend. He would have cheated on Thalia a million times if it weren't for her stopping him. And the thought of that alone made him feel awful.
He bit his lip. "Part of me wishes that...that you and I had never dated so I never would have hurt you. But...I don't think I would take back what we had for anything in the world. It may have ended badly, but I'd never regret our relationship. I just hate what I did to you..."

[Thaliana Manson]

"I know the situation isn't exactly the same. But, you remember how you were in love with Carolyn and how after you two broke up because she left you for another person. Most of your whole life after that until half way through our relationship you still loved her? She was your first love, so you always had a part of her in you"she asked. She didn't wait for a answer. She just kept talking. Only because she knew, he'd know what she was saying. "That love you felt for Carolyn is what I have for you. Carolyn was your first love, and your first serious relationship. You were my first serious relationship too. I liked you since our first blind date when K set us up. I just... I honestly didn't think we would break up until the date I met Liz. That moment you introduced me to her, I couldn't help but feel we were already over. I knew we were going to end. It was one of those feelings you get when you know something is going to end badly"she said. She placed her hands over her face for a second. She attempted to play it off as she was just thinking. But, if Kegan remembered her like he used to. He would know she was attempting to hold back from crying. It was something she often used to do when she would feel tears coming on.

Once she calmed down a little bit, as she was still fighting off tears. She looked at him. "It was real, wasn't it? You and me. Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn't we? No one would have thought we were going to break up. I didn't believe it. When you broke up with me, I thought we would get back together with the little bit of hope for us I still had. But, when Carol told me you and Liz started dating... I knew it wasn't going to happen. Us getting back together. You loved her, she loved you. It was meant to be"she said. That's when she felt tears start coming in her eyes. (Writing that part at the end is when I started to cry. XD ) She turned her head away from Kegan hoping her wouldn't see her cry. She hadn't cried in a while. Not since the year they broke up. She felt weak crying about it now. Before, when people brought it up. She felt numb. Like she couldn't cry anymore. But, now here she was. Talking about it with him and all the numbness went away. Her guard was going down. She brick wall she built to keep every little thing about Kegan to not bother her was breaking.

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, as amazing relationship was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it. For you, you had another love with Liz. You loved her in a different way you loved me. And I couldn't do anything about it. You guys both had so much in common. I was just a girl you met in high school that should have known high school relationships don't last"she said. She felt stupid for ever following him to college. For ever thinking one day they would have a family together because she knew it was wouldn't happen. I um...I just wanted you to know that I'll always be here for you. I'll always support you, and be a rock when you need one. You'll never be alone or be lacking anything when I'm around. And I promise to be faithful to you, as long as you'll have me. You're everything I want, and I just want to prove to you that I care.. The memory of Kegan saying that was always stored in her head. When he said the as long as you'll have me. The was bullshit. It was more like 'Until I go to college and meet another girl to fall in love with.'

"I wouldn't take back what we had either. But, it ended for a reason. And that reason was you falling in love with Liz. Nothing can change that. No one can change that. You'll always love her Kegan. Me? I was just a stupid high school romance that ended in our first couple months of college. I should have known it wasn't going to last long"Thalia said looking back at him before taking a sip out of her wine. "Don't hate what you did to me"she paused for a second. "You fell in love with someone else. You couldn't help it"she whispered. She was on the verge of crying. She could tell. So she put her hands over her face again pretending to think, as she was actually trying to hold back more tears. Stupid habbit. Kegan could probably tell what she was going.

[kegan]

Kegan looked back at Thalia when she was questioning whether their relationship was legitimate. "Of course I loved you. I may have done a lot of messed up things but I never once lied to you. And if I remember correctly, I told you that I don't think I was really in love with Carolyn. I was fifteen for crissake! I didn't know what love was."
He chewed on the inside of his lip for a second, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "I think I've always counted you as my first love, and Liz as my second." He paused, thinking again.
"You know how they say that if you fall in love twice, you should just pick the second one?" He waited a moment for her to respond, and then continued speaking. "Yeah well...my second one is dead so I guess I just lose because there's no way you're stupid enough to get back together with me."
What was he even talking about? Just because they met up again randomly and went out on one date, it didn't mean they were going to get back together!

ooc:
I suck balls right now.

[Thaliana Manson]

Thalia bite her lip. "Kegan, we both know I am that stupid to go back out with you"she said with a small laugh. "I mean it wouldn't happen. You're still in love with Liz... And i'd feel inferior in comparison to Liz. And i'd constantly be comparing myself to Liz. But, if it did I wouldn't say no"she said before taking a sip out of her glass. What was he doing to her. Why was she letting herself think about falling for him again!? Bad Thalia. Bad. No liking Kegan. Don't let him break your heart like he did before you idiot. She looked back out at the city. She felt stupid. She shouldn't be letting her walls break down. But she couldn't help it. She loved Kegan, and still does. It never went away. Deep down she always knew that. Sure, when Kegan and her were broken up she had been asked out on dates and shit. But, she always turned the guy down because of the fact she didn't want to date a guy if she was still in love with someone else.

[kegan]

Their first course came out before Kegan could say anything else, and the waiter poured more wine in their glasses.
When he was gone, he looked back at Thalia and sighed. "This is the part where one of us should run, but I don't think that's going to happen." He took a sip from his glass. "So do you want to like...start over? Like going on dates and stuff? It's pretty obvious that I still have some healing to do. It's barely been a year since Liz died. But I don't know if it'd be necessarily a bad thing if we tried again. We're both different people now..." He let his voice trail off, waiting for Thalia's response to that.

ooc:
I'M SO TIRED AND I CAN'T SLEEP D: